Monday, February 12, 2007

It' Saturday in my world...

It' Saturday in my world. The grueling three day work week is done and gone. It was a very rough 'week'. I have the usual post work household chores to do but it's SATURDAY so screw it. CD player is loaded and in sequential mode. Todd Snyder, Meatloaf, Joe Ely, and two Warren Zevon discs. At the moment the neighbors are enjoying Meatloaf "Bat outta Hell" recorded live with a symphony. To me, it's the best version. The "As it should be" version.

But I'm off topic. Have I picked a topic? I'll let you be the judge.

Back to the work week...

The airplanes were tame. No real bites, bumps or bruises.

Traffic was tame. No idiot induced road rage.

Actually, "Rage" is a funny term when applied to me physically. At 5' 6" and 130 lbs on a good day and the curse of boyish cuteness rather than 'handsome'. Rage has been known to strike though. And it aint that pretty at all. And I know it. I guess that's an advantage of getting older. I feel lucky to be able to learn from mistakes when I actually learn from them.

I have a generally quiet demeanor. I generally like to listen as opposed to talk. I know that seems contrary to this blog and my long winded other side but it's true.

Back to the learning. I don't just mean the 'oh, that was a bad idea' kind but the kind that makes me really step back. Step back far and away to get a big frame on whatever just happened. The kind that really makes me rethink my ways of doing things. The kind that makes me look for roots, causes and origins. The kind that makes me go way back to before the event, and I mean Freudian back. The kind of step retracing that can be down right terrifying.

I am difficult though. At times it is virtually impossible to get through my thick skull and one needs a 'brickbat' to get a point across. Sometimes I have to be seriously scared or wounded. Again in the Freudian way. In normally scary situations, instinct takes over.

So, what has weedhopper learned thus far in 2007?

1) "Brickbats" hurt a lot worse as I get older.

2) I wrote a lyric a looonng time ago about a Bell Jar (I don't think it had anything to do with S.P) 'You want to love and protect her keep her from harm' etc. Very simplistic now that I think about it. Not only in lyrical way but in the way of thinking. It's far more complex to realize that, sometimes, trying to protect someone is EXACTLY the wrong tactic.

3) I need to be more aggressive about some things and more patient about others.

There are more lessons and more yet to come. I just hope that I can take to heart the words I gave my son the other night, "You have to do well at these two lessons at this level because you will need them when you get to the next level."

Living to learn and learning to live! There's a belly laugh for my biker buddys!!!

Warren Zevon has made his way around the ol' turntable, "Reconsider Me". It is Saturday after all. I think I'll make a sam'ich.

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